BECAUSE I SAID SO and other things I swore I'd never say to my kids before I became a parent

I read a rather humorous article in the paper this morning.  I'm sure it wasn't really meant to be humorous, but I'm equally sure that every parent out there got a chuckle from it.  It was titled something like Ten Things You Should Never Say to Your Children.  The author obviously never spent 2 minutes with a child trying to rationalize why he can't eat M & M's for breakfast.  Two of the things that topped her list were to never say "because I said so" and "because I'm the adult".  She suggested you calmly explain to the young cherub the reasons behind your decisions, to help him better understand and not feel spoken down to or demeaned.

This is how it usually goes in my household:

But WHY can't I have M & M's?  

Because you need to eat a healthy breakfast and M & M's are not a healthy breakfast.

But I'll eat breakfast too, I promise!

No!

But Pop would let me have them (this is probably true, which is why they are not allowed to go down to their grandfather's house before noon.  I love him dearly, but he is NOT the epitome of healthy eating, which is well known to my kids who affectionately refer to his house as Candy Land.)

Do you want diabetes and heart disease before you're 30? (that one whizzes past their heads at warp speed--they can't even think one day ahead, let alone comprehend being 30!)

But Moooooommmmmm, why can't I have them????  No fair!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE I'M THE PARENT AND I SAID SO AND IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD NO XBOX ALL DAY TODAY! 

Then magical silence.

My kids listen to explanations just like drunks listen to "no you cannot text your ex-boyfriend and tell him how much you still love him and how much better you are than his new girlfriend".  They want what they want.  They don't want to hear you tell them why they can't have it.  You could say "blah, blah, blah, blah" and sing the National Anthem backwards for all they care.  So, I usually will just skip the dialog and go right to the "I'm the parent and I said so" part.  I have a strong suspicion that I'm not alone!

And I really don't think I'm doing them some grave psychological harm, as the author of that article suggests.  In fact, I think I'm better preparing them for life.  As adults we don't always get explanations and rationalizations for the decisions of others that often effect our lives.  If kids grow up always being treated as equals and feeling they are owed explanations for every little thing that happens, they will grow up entitled and ill-equipped to function in a world that frankly isn't always fair and doesn't always give them the answers.  And they are not equals.  And will not be equals to everyone in life.  They will most likely someday have a boss that tells them "do it because I'm the boss and I said so". 

And then they will think back and silently thank me for preparing them for that moment in life.